by Shelley Fowler
While trying to compose this week’s column, my mind kept running into diverse memories of past experiences I had encountered during this time of year. I couldn’t seem to bring them into cohesiveness, so I decided to give them to you as moments in time….
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When I was a little girl this time of year held me in sway of anticipating the magic of Christmas. Yes, the magic! Found not only in the story of the miracle birth of Jesus, but also in the legend of the jolly arrival of Santa Claus. I had no trouble at all juxtaposing the baby and the man and celebrating both of them.
Thus, I find no harm in letting children believe in that same magic. For soon enough they will grow older and more wise. And they will find for themselves the truth and division of the reason for the season.
Looking back upon my childhood memories of Christmas, there is but one gift I still remember receiving. I also remember the wonderment I felt knowing that Santa must have read my letter, because it was just what I wanted!
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It was very early Christmas morning. The house was silent, the rest of the family were asleep. I remember tiptoeing into the living room that was softly glowing because of the lights on the Christmas tree. I also remember putting my hand to my mouth and whispering a delighted “Oh!” as I spied the gift left by Santa. The one thing I had asked for that year, the one thing I most wanted in the world! A naked little boy baby doll lying face down upon a white bear skin rug!
(I guess I should mention here that the doll was anatomically incorrect while the bear skin was politically correct, being that it was fake.)
I tell you this story not to make you wonder (as I suddenly am) why I was so enthralled with having a naked boy baby that I could wrap up in a bear skin. Instead, I share the experience with you to drive home the fact that one special gift is much more memorable than many gifts in the eyes of little kids on Christmas morning.
I think many of us can look back and find the memory of a particular year when our perspective on Christmas was forever altered, or at the very least rearranged.
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In my life, that occurrence happened nearly three decades ago. Daddy was in the local nursing home, but the rest of my family members were in other locations. I remember spending time with him Christmas Eve, then coming home to a house devoid of noise or people. It was the first time in my life that I’d been alone on that most wondrous night of the year.
That year Christmas was stripped bare of every morsel of any magic or anticipation, as well as all tinsel and lights, all aromas wafting from a kitchen, all bows and bright packages, all voices filling the air with songs and laughter. I think my soul was stripped bare, as well, for I remember feeling so alone.
But, then I began humming “Silent Night”. Which felt quite appropriate since I was in the middle of my own silent night. And then I went in search of the Bible, an old hymnal and a candle. I remember curling up in the chair and by the flickering light reading aloud the story of Jesus’ birth, followed by singing every Christmas carol in the hymnal. By the time I finished I was no longer feeling blue or lonely. And I felt closer to Jesus, and Mary and Joseph, those shepherds and that star than I had on any previous Christmas in my life! Yes, that was the year my perspective was forever changed and when tradition was broken. It was also the year I was unexpectedly blessed beyond measure.
And so….
I know that while many people are happily skipping towards Christmas, for others this time of year is anything but eagerly anticipated. Whatever your circumstance, whether you wear a smile or are cloaked in sorrow, whether you are alone or with family, whether you deck the halls or leave them bare, whether you wrap many gifts or give but one or none, whether you hum a carol or cry a tear, whether you believe in Santa or not, whether you secretly want to be say “bah-humbug” or cheerfully shout “Merry Christmas”…..wherever you find yourself and your heart in the coming weeks….may each of you seek, find and hold onto the beauty and truth of what Christmas truly means!
