By Maggie Velasquez-Choi

  

Sometimes an email that’s making the rounds says things better than I could have. Unfortunately for many authors, the insightful and witty emails lose their maker’s name along the journey, so I can only attribute the following article to the last person who emailed it to me, that would be Cathleen Sullivan (although she’s not its author). Note: the following article was obviously written by a person who grew up in the country but apparently lives in the city now: 

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 Small Towns

 Those who grew up in small towns will laugh when they read this. Those who didn’t will be in disbelief and won’t understand how true it is.

1) You can name everyone you graduated with.

2) You know what 4-H means.

3) You went to parties at a pasture, barn, gravel pit, or in the middle of a dirt road.  On Monday you could always tell who was at the party because of the scratches on their legs from running through the woods when the party was busted. (See #6.) (Maggie here: I wouldn’t know about this drinking logic. I’ve never drank in my life)

4)You used to “drag” Main

5) You whispered the ‘F’ word and your parents knew within the hour.

6) You scheduled parties around the schedules of different police officers, because you knew which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn’t.

7) You could never buy cigarettes because all the store clerks knew how old you were (and if you were old enough, they’d tell your parents anyhow.) Besides, where would you get the money?

8) When you did find somebody old enough and brave enough to buy cigarettes, you still had to go out into the country and drive on back roads to smoke them.

9) You knew which section of the ditch you would find the beer your buyer dropped off.

10) It was cool to date somebody from the neighboring town.

11) The whole school went to the same party after graduation.

12) You didn’t give directions by street names but rather by references. Turn by Nelson’s house, go two blocks to Anderson ’s, and it’s four houses left of the track field.

13) The golf course had only nine holes.

14) You couldn’t help but date a friend’s ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.

15) Your car stayed filthy because of the dirt roads, and you will never own a dark vehicle for this reason.

16) The town next to you was considered ‘trashy’ or ‘snooty,’ but was actually just like your town.

17) You referred to anyone with a house newer than 1955 as the ’rich’ people.

18) The people in the ‘big city’ dressed funny, and then you picked up the trend two years later.

19) Anyone you wanted could be found at the local gas station or the dairybar.

20) You saw at least one friend a week driving a tractor through town or one of your friends driving a grain truck to school occasionally.

21) The gym teacher suggested you haul hay for the summer to get stronger.

22) Directions were given using THE stop light as a reference. (Maggie here: oops, there weren’t and aren’t any stoplights in all of Cimarron County)

23) When you decided to walk somewhere for exercise, five people would pull over and ask if you wanted a ride.

24) Your teachers called you by your older siblings’ names.

25)Your school teachers remembered when they taught your parents in the same school.

26) You could charge at any local store or write checks without any ID.

27) There was no McDonalds.

28) The closest mall was over an hour away.

29) It was normal to see an old man riding through town on a riding lawn mower.

30) You’ve pee’d in a cornfield.

31) Most people went by a nickname, (and several went by two names, i.e. Billy Bob, or Norma Jean).

32) You laughed your behind off reading this because you know it is true, and you will forward it to everyone who may have lived in a small town. 

I would not have wanted to have been raised any other 

way!!!!

 

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